The Fear Monster.

15 Jan
On Friday evening, I wanted a challenge. To run faster. I knew I was ready, but something inside me say “don’t even think about it”. I knew that if I wanted to achieve big things, I had to at least try. That if I tried, I couldn’t fail. But if I somehow quit on myself, that I couldnt achieve big things that I dream of.

Stepping on that treadmill was scary. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I knew what I wanted to do. I knew that running at my comfortable pace of a 4.5mph wasn’t going to cut it. I had the music. I had everything going for me. There was nothing stopping me, except my mind. What did I have to loose? Nothing, but I had everything to gain. I started running. Pushing myself a little faster. Faster. Before I knew it, I was crusing at a 6.0mph. Fast. Somewhere in betwen the excitment of “running faster”, I found myself crying I found myself in the middle of loving this challenge, but also wanting to quit at the same time.

The point is, you can’t quit on yourself. If you do, you won’t achieve anything. Sometimes you find yourself in a moment of doubt when you’re afraid of what might happen. That’s why I love challenging myself with running. I love putting a big hairy goal in front of myself, and conquering it – even if I suck doing it.

The goal? Conquered. 2mi 23min 11:26min/mile.

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